Stupid things guys say on their first arranged date

Disclaimer: The characters and scenarios depicted in the blog are non- fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely intentional.

Real Disclaimer: Naah! Just get a high speed internet and a sense of humour to enjoy this blog at best.

1. Tall, hefty and handsome is the thing now

Boy is tall and hefty, girl is tall and slim.

Boy's condition: If you gain weight I will marry you.
Girl:

2. Love at first bite

Boy's condition: I need a girl who can cook multi cuisine.
Girl: Well, I can manage North and South Indian.
Boy: Oh no! I am a foodie. I need a wife who can make Italian, Chinese, Mexican etc.
Girl: Yeah I am the next masterchef India winner.

3. The whole IT package

Boy (in fake accent): Hi How do you do? I hope everything is alright at your end.

Girl: Um yeah thanks...?
Boy: Let me update you on my profile and we will see the kind of progress we can make. I have been in IT for 6 years, working for a US client. I am available 24/7 to them. I have been working very hard to get VISA. I am sure I will get it done in few weeks. Let me know if you have any concerns or queries that I can help you with, from my end. You can reach me on my mobile 24/7.
Girl: "I will get back to you on this"

4. Made for each tester

Boy: I specifically want a girl who works in IT.
Girl: You are in luck! I am a JAVA developer in ABC Multinational company.
Boy: Oh boy! I was hoping to get a test engineer.
Girl: Wow, someone is very choosy. Why so?
Boy: I am a tester myself. Sometimes I bring my work home and if my wife is also a tester she can finish the projects on my behalf. Most often I like to delegate my work.
Girl: Oh so you are looking for an assistant? Next door, please.

5. Not a Mama's boy

Girl: You work abroad, I work here. How do we make this work after marriage? I am sure I can apply for a dependent VISA.
Boy: No, after wedding, you will stay here with my mother.
Girl: Alright. When does your VISA expire?
Boy: I don't know. I am not planning to return to India any sooner. I can't take you with me because I want you to stay here and take care of my mother.
Girl: Why can't we bring her with us?
Boy: No, I don't want to take care of her. That is why I am getting married.

Girl: Get a nurse instead. It will be less expensive.

6. Dear Lord!

My friend, the most pious girl I know from my generation, was rejected a marriage proposal because she didn't go to church everyday!

7. LOL

Boy: I heard you are witty and funny. Tell me a joke.
Girl:

8. Heart of fake gold

A guy in my office wears a lot of jewelry on him. I always wondered why. Turns out his father owns a jewelry shop. I asked him why he didn't look after his dad's business. His reply was and I quote, "In my community, an IT guy with a jewelry shop gets double the dowry from girl's side. And if I get an on-site opportunity I can demand 100 kg gold jewelry."



I eyed at him from top to bottom and asked, "Where are you planning on wearing them?"

9. Right on!

Boy to a girl: I am not very religious or traditional. I just like to get up in the morning, pray, go to temple everyday before going to office. And then in the evening, I'd like my wife to light lamps and offer prayers to god in a saree. You have to wear a saree whenever you are at home. But you are allowed to wear the dress of your choice when we go out. You can wear chudidar too. I totally don't mind. I let my sister wear jeans with kurta. Can you imagine!

        

Girl: Oh! so you started with a joke.... Good call.

10. The love Triangle

A rich father arranged for his son to talk to a girl on skype while he was on conference, monitoring what they were discussing and making sure she was not a gold digger.

11. What? Why? Really?

A guy wasn't interested in marrying a girl because she didn't ask him enough questions on their first date. He was an HR.

12. Dig along......

Boy's conditions: 

• Bride's father has to incur all the expenses. 
• Bride's father has to book tickets for everyone in his family to attend the wedding. 
• Prefers an only child so that she can inherit her father's assets.

             

13. Let's do it the European way

Boy: I am not interested in a commitment yet. Why don't we live together for a year, have fun and then part ways? If we like each other by the end of one year we will discuss how to deal with it.

14. Checklist

Boy's criteria for a girl: No pimples, curly hair and a romantic smile exposing a perfectly aligned teeth. 

             

15. Cheapshot

Boy: I want a girl who has a degree in science or math so that I can save money in tuition fee for our children.

         

16. No entry in the closet

Boy: I don't have much of a social life. I prefer to stay indoors. I like to spend time with my room mate. He is a cool guy. He comes here every night and we have fun together. If you want to hang out with your friends, I don't mind. In fact, I won't mind even if you like another guy. You are free to do as you please. Let's keep this between us. My parents are not very open minded when it comes to open marriage.

        

17. Totally Kewl!

Boy: I am strict with sleep timings. Early to bed early to rise. I don't bend this rule for anyone. My family sticks to it too. We can do everything during the day.

       

18. Saare jahan se acha

Boy: The girl should have VISA or should be working abroad. That way I can apply for dependent VISA and a get a job there.

19. The nerd

Boy(to a girl who is doing masters): I want a girl who has never been proposed by a guy. I won't like it if you talk to guys after marriage. But you are allowed to have discussion on studies and your course with a guy. That is fine by me.

       

20. Stark honesty

Boy: I want a girl who doesn't know Hindi.
Girl: Why?
Boy: So that my family and I can talk about her in her presence.

   

Share your experience in the comments section and feed me more content for my next blog. *wink*

P.S. : Coming soon... Next blog on annoying things girls say on their first arranged date. Check it out here

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